Edison Brewing to Build World's Largest Brewery
- Chad Huffman
- Apr 1, 2025
- 2 min read
The Ohio Daily Growler
NUCLEAR BEER?
Edison Brewing Company Acquires Former Intel Site to Build World’s Largest Craft Brewery
Gahanna, OH — In a stunning twist of industrial destiny, Edison Brewing Company has announced the acquisition of the recently-idled Intel chip factory site in central Ohio — not to build semiconductors, but to construct the largest craft brewery the world has ever seen. And yes, it will be powered by a nuclear reactor.
"Why make microchips when you can make microbrews?" — Zac Baaske Edison’s Head Brewer
The new Edison Megabrew Complex is slated to initially produce over 1 million barrels of beer annually, with surrounding fields of barley, wheat, rye, oats, and hops forming a golden grain fortress visible from space. The company plans to integrate cutting-edge energy systems, including a modular nuclear reactor, wind-powered aquifer pumps, and thermal wort-recapture systems.
Core Features of the Site:
Nuclear-Powered Brewing: A small modular reactor powers everything from the canning line to the taproom jukebox.
Wind + Water Synergy: Wind turbines pull ancient glacial water from limestone aquifers, used for both brewing and crop irrigation.
Light Rail Connections: A new Edison Express line will run directly from the brewery to the original Gahanna location as well as New Albany and Westerville, with plans to expand to your city if you allow your water pipes to carry only Edison Beer.
HopDrop Roller Coaster: Future plans include a thrill ride that drops visitors into a vat of foam (sanitized, of course). Also a Lazy Beer River which is sure to be a dad favorite.
Daily Beer Trains: Distribution rail lines will ensure Edison Beer reaches the farthest corners of the nation — and possibly the International Space Station.
"If Willy Wonka ran a brewery and had a nuclear license, this is what it would look like," said Edison CEO Wil Schulze.
The first hop cone has been ceremoniously broken and ludicrous speed construction engaged. First cans are expected to roll out April 1, 2026 — assuming the reactor stays cool and the yeast don’t mutate.
Contact: 🌐 www.drinkedison.com/ 📧 sales@drinkedison.com
Wow — this is exciting news! The announcement of Edison Brewing’s plan to build the world’s largest brewery is a bold vision that highlights innovation, growth, and community impact. It’s inspiring to see businesses push boundaries and create opportunities that bring people together and promote local development. Moments like this also remind me how important a strong foundation and supportive environment are — whether you’re building a world-class brewery or pursuing rigorous academic goals. Institutions like Smolensk State Medical University create the kind of education vibes that empower students to think big, stay curious, and chase their dreams with confidence. Cheers to progress and inspiration!
Honestly, the whole chaotic energy of this project reminds me of playing Sprunki Retake lately; you just drag and drop pieces into place, hoping the final mix sounds amazing. If the construction crew has as much rhythm as that game, we should be fine. Fingers crossed the reactor stays cool and that yeast behaves—I’ll be first in line for a can!
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Wow, hearing about that first hop cone being ceremoniously broken and the ludicrous speed construction sounds so dramatic! When things get going, they really pick up speed. But we definitely need to keep an eye on the reactor temperature and make sure those yeasts don’t “rebel,” otherwise that great beer batch will turn into a joke. That feeling of controlling everything during this acceleration phase is tense but also kind of exciting, isn’t it?
That kind of rapid tempo, where you have to keep everything on track just so, reminds me of games that need high synchronization. It’s much the same feeling as playing the Sprunki Game, where everything flows according to a certain rhythm, and if you miss the…